What Book Would You Ban?

Lunchtime poll a la Eve:
If you could ban a book, what book would it be? 

Or should that be 'which book'? GrammarNazis are openly invited to correct me since I am not in the mood to do the research. I would rather write my ramblings and let the grammatical errors speak for my humanness.

I stumbled upon this question while trying to think up something to write about the topic of banned books. So, with legal pad in hand, I posed the question to myself and my friend while sitting down to a bowl of herb to see what we could come up with. It was a fun challenge and I invite others to consider the question if they haven't before.

At first we couldn't come up with anything. As tempting as the idea sounds in a hypothetical playground, to banish any book(s) from the land that one does not see fit, the idea of stopping the flow of information was a hard concept for both of us to work around. While neither my friend nor I practice any particular religions, we do appreciate religions for what they are along with the writings. Therefore, we couldn't ban any religious doctrines.

I recently read through Matt Forney's review of The Communist Manifesto, which I cannot recall if I have read the book or not though I am familiar with it. But since we were stumped on what books to ban, I queried about Marx's Manifesto to get us past the block. No luck there either. As my friend sagely stated, "No, people need to read that kind of shit." Therefore, no political or philosophical doctrines were hypothetically banned.

After so long, the self-imposed poll resulted in us not coming up with a single book to ban. So, I kicked out some more questions, such as barring writers from writing in particular genres or barring people from writing in general. This proved to be more fruitful as my friend touched on the topic of what I call Talking Head books, by people such as Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, and the like. Aside from kindling, it's hard to find a useful purpose for books where the aim is to effect popular opinion by dividing people through repetitive, rhetorical debate so that the people then take the debate to their representatives and the voting booths. Gag me with a bookmark. Therefore, no Talking Head books.

Also mentioned as a sub-genre of books which should not be allowed is any fitness or diet book that features someone on the cover that you do not want to look like; i.e., Dr. Phil. Are there any men who want to look like Dr. Phil? Not in this hypothetical utopia. Therefore, no Dr. Phil weight loss books.

For myself I had a hard time thinking of anything worthy to ban, until I remembered all of the books I have witnessed in the juvenile aisles of bookstores the past years that deeply hit my literary gag reflex: Vampire books and their demon-spawn copycats. Twilight can stay though, only because young girls should have a proper subliminal introduction to the kink that is autassassinophilia.

Overall, it was not easy for either of us to come up with a definitive list of books we would ban, though some genres we could most definitely do without. Even though we do not care for certain books and/or authors, neither of us would ever want books destroyed or authors barred from writing, whether or not we agree with the content. As my friend wisely concluded, "Just because you put out a book doesn't mean it's for everyone," and a book not pleasing everyone is no reason for a book to be banned.

Thanks for reading. 

What book(s) would you ban?
Answer the lunchtime poll question in the comments.

Come to the Dark Side ~ Banned Books Coffee Mug 
Find More Creations by Eve Penman @ ProseAndPix


SuperLux said...

Hmmm, this got me thinking. I've read books that are boring but not enough books maybe to find something worth banning.

Will keep on searching. :D

Daluni said...

Deuteronomy and Leviticus.