2.13.2016

Jeb Bush: Official White House Greeter


My musings, featuring the six candidates and their speculated future positions after the elections; inspired by the February 13th Republican debates on CBS.

Donald Trump: President. Because the corporation that is America needs a CEO who has not spent his entire life in the public sector as a pencil-pushing, tax-sucking bureaucrat. Would a female supporter of Trump be called a 'Trumpette'? 

Ted Cruz: Vice President. Taxes are pure evil, and I give it to Cruz that he is interested in simplifying taxes and abolishing the IRS. I don't trust him further than I can throw him, but at least he knows what some people want to hear.

Marco Rubio: Chief of Staff. I don't know a lot about Rubio, but he seems to want to be taken seriously and it's cute to see him try.

Ben Carson: Press Secretary. Because, as a neurosurgeon, he has been trained to deliver bad news without sound like a dick; his soft, smooth voice would be nice to hear when answering questions about how the 'evil government' is screwing up again.

John Kasich: White House Tour Guide. I don't know a lot about Kasich; based on tonight's debate he seems to want to bring people together to a common ground. The rest of the time he seems as if he could go in any direction people lead him. I wasn't sure where he would fit in, so White House Tour Guide seemed like a safe assignment. 

Jeb Bush: White House Greeter. I nominate Jeb Bush to be the first official White House Greeter. Because, he's Jeb Bush. Does there need to be another reason? 

How would you assign the candidates?

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