3.08.2017

Bathroom Etiquette for Everyone (But Mostly Ladies)

Five days a week, for the past year and a half, I clean anywhere from 3 to 7 bathrooms each day, both public and private. Foundation

Although it is not the most glamorous line of work, it is very educational, which means I learn while being paid to clean; and who better to share my learning with than my readers, and the world at large, who more likely than not use bathrooms? Indeed! 

Thus, here is my bathroom etiquette rant with a few of my personal observations and tips to keep in mind when using a bathroom in public (or anywhere). People who are ill, physically impaired, or over the age of 70 do not apply; however, if you are able-bodied and only have complacent mediocre laziness and ignorance to contend with, my bathroom rant is for you ~ Enjoy!

For starters -- YOU ARE IN PUBLIC! 

1. You are not in your home, so don't get comfortable and act as if you are. In other words: Get out of your p.j. pants (people over 18), cover your butt crack, use a belt, put on shoes (not slippers or bare feet), wear clothes that fit, and dress with respect for yourself when you enter the public scene. 

Why does dress attire matter?

2. Because: 'The only etiquette you find in bathrooms is the etiquette you bring with you,' which means if you walk into a bathroom like a slob without respect for anything, you will treat the bathroom like a slob and leave it like a slob. DON'T BE A SLOB. Dress with respect for yourself and thereby respect the bathroom; because a person who does not respect their own self cannot respect the bathroom (or much else).

Bathroom etiquette begins with the user; not the bathroom.

3. When you approach a toilet, how do you want to find it? With wet drops of who-knows-what on the seat you're going to sit on? With toilet paper on the seat; or the safety paper halfway in the toilet and halfway clinging to the seat, saturated in moisture? With no toilet paper on the roll when there is stock available for replacing? In other words, how much do you want to clean up after someone else when you need to use a toilet; and how much do you like it?

FYI, I do not use or clean urinals; I can only address toilets.

So, if you don't want to find all those things waiting for you, then why would you leave those things waiting for the next person; just because someone left it for you? That is ignorance, and, ladies, I am talking to you! You cannot escape your inferior pig-like behaviors from me because I am one of you and I have seen it come from you, along with myself at times (shame on me!). Stop it; be a woman, not a pig; plus, you're in America (at least I am), so be a first-world American with hygienic etiquette, not a third-world transient who doesn't know any better.

Pigs leave their mess for others; are you a pig?

4. If you do not enjoy cleaning up after a stranger's bathroom experience, then consider paying it forward and cleaning up after yourself when you are done. Here is how: wipe the toilet seat down with toilet paper or paper towels to remove any moisture left behind; make sure any toilet paper or safety paper is completely in the toilet, again wiping the seat as needed, and give it another flush so the toilet is empty for the next person; if the toilet paper roll is empty and stock is available, change it...because there is no Roomba for changing the toilet paper, only humans can do it. You are human, you can do it! 

Granted, if you are a pig and like leaving the bathroom looking like a sty, you won't be able to change the toilet paper roll because pigs don't have opposable thumbs or consideration for others; therefore, the public is not the place for you and you are better off staying home to wallow in your pigdome. 

Pardon me for raising the bar on American standards of etiquette, but I am done lowering myself. Are you?


3.02.2017

Questioning Gender Equality & Freeing My Mind from Women's Lib

Q: Why does a woman have to do everything (or as much as possible) that a man can do? 

A: She doesn't. She can do what she can do, on her own level, in her own way, without giving a second thought about society telling her she has to compete with men when she is not a man. 

Q: Why can't a woman be a woman (or a girl be a girl)?

A: She can be. Women are made to be women; they aren't made to be men, because if women were made to be men they would be born with dicks. Surprisingly, that is how you tell the difference between men and women; if there is a dick attached, it is a man. If there is no dick attached, that is the genetic marker to act like a woman because you are a woman. Now, if there was a dick and then it became detached later in life, or vice versa, I can't help.

Q: What is wrong with a girl wanting to do girly things, or a woman wanting to do womanly things?

A: Nothing. Women don't have to do what men do for fun and women should enjoy womanly things, whatever they happen to be, without feeling as if they are less for not being macho women. Women don't have to shoot guns, or fight, or lift weights, or play sports, or read comic books, or follow politics, or watch movies, or do anything else that men tell women they should do because men do it. And do you know why? Because that is what makes a woman a woman -- not doing what men do. Granted, women totally can do those things, but they totally don't have to do those things if they totally don't want to do those things; and that is a definitive benefit of being a woman, saying no...along with not feeling guilty for crying when we would rather be strangling someone (that's why we cry, it's a coping mechanism that keeps us from going where you don't want to see us go!).

Q: Why do women have to be as strong and as tough as men (or other women)?

A: They don't; they can be if they want to be, but they don't have to. Men and women are unequal with each other, the same as women are unequal with each other, the same as men are unequal with each other. In fact, everyone being unequal is the greatest equality of all. Don't you think? 😉


2.19.2017

Minimizing the Economic Burden that Obama Unconstitutionally Placed on Americans

I did not want a president and I did not want to vote. I was perfectly happy not wanting any president.

However, I also do not want to pay taxes and you cannot live one day in Washington State without paying some sort of tax. So, I strategically caved and voted for Trump based on him being the closest thing to anti-establishment that may ever be president in my lifetime.

And I will be damned if that man hasn't already come through for me (on his first day in office) and the people of America who have been taxed for far too long. 

I encourage everyone to know how to read legislation and legalese since that is the language that controls Americans, so here is the full text of President Trump's Executive Order Minimizing the Economic Burden of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act Pending Repeal,  signed January 20, 2017.

The gem of it, to me anyway, is Section 2, which is so beautiful I had to make an image of it just to accentuate its outstanding awesomeness (below). It got me all verklempt when I read it, so consider yourself warned; it's a tear-jerker.

Granted, I know the anti-statist argument against executive orders too well, and I do not care to hear it; because it is the intention behind the order that speaks volumes more to me than the fact it is an evil executive order, so keep it to yourself and enjoy!

2.16.2017

Nobody Intimidates Baby: When Life Gives You Watermelons, Carry Them

Have you ever been told that you are intimidating? Better yet, have you ever been told that you are intimidating when you are the one who feels intimidated? Welcome to my work.
I'm about as much of a Baby-awkwardly-carrying-a-watermelon-through-a-pack-of-dirty-dancers as one can be when it comes to my current work situation this past year and a half, as an official cart-wielding, name-badge-wearing housekeeper in a privately-owned luxury retirement facility where I make life better for some outstanding (and very independent) members of the Greatest Generation.

From court reporter to housekeeper, that is me; and it is totally intimidating to work in a position where I am the only white American female who speaks English as her first language in the housekeeping department (and, no, I don't get paid more for the privilege of being white and speaking English). 

Seriously, now, how is being the minority in this situation not intimidating? 

I am an introvert on someone else's property, away from people I know, in a community where I do not feel I belong, doing a job I never imagined doing (nor was ever encouraged to do), following coercive OSHA mandates, and getting paid a wage well below the value of my work productivity; add to all of that, being a minority of one amongst a group of women who speak a common language, share a common culture, and communicate with ease to each other (when I am the one in my native land and home state). Call me a girl, but this is an intimidating situation. 

I mean, am I the only one who gets intimidated or scared when I have to stand alone, or go through a process alone, or learn something new alone; especially when there is a group of people around me who have already done it and now get to watch me awkwardly carry a watermelon across the dance floor? It's not embarrassing as much as it is intimidating and scary to be out of my comfort zones in so many ways at one time.

So, as a result of feeling intimidated, what do I do? I own the intimidation and project it back by playing the game my dad taught me in court reporting: The goal of the game is to make them believe that you know what you're doing. Thanks, dad! So that's what I do; I arm myself with enough confidence to believe that I can handle anything that comes my way, along with the wisdom to recognize when to defer to more experienced people for help. 

Granted, my confidence shifts from day to day, ebbing and flowing with the changing tides in my mind, between self-doubt and self-confidence; and, boy, if that doesn't make life more exasperating at times than is necessary.

But I do get it though; as an English-speaking, natural American citizen who knows her legal rights better than most and doesn't appear scared to speak up (even though she is more scared than anyone will ever know), I appear intimidating due to the confidence I project....all 5-foot-4-inches, 120 pounds of petite little me (who is actually the giant of the housekeepers!).

The fact is that confidence can be intimidating even when it is being faked, and that is what is so amusing about being told by my boss that I am intimidating, because I am faking to compensate for how intimidated I am by everything around me! Nobody intimidates Baby.