Take This Career and Shove It: The Joy of Being a Housewife

Teri Garr in Mr. Mom (1983)

I've had odd jobs, I've had steady jobs; I've been a minimum-wage blue collar worker, and I've been a well-paid white collar professional.

For all the work I have done, from the time I was a child until nearly 40 years of age, I have this to say: Take this career and shove it.

Smashing ceilings and making bank has its place, but I am loving my new traditional role of staying home and not working for other people. I am now on my new wifely mission from the marriage gods, to make home the best it can be for my husband when he's home from work, and for me, of course, as well.

I no longer put my schedule before my husband's; I no longer make coffee for lawyers; I no longer have to go to an office during office hours in office attire, or wear a uniform that I don't want to wear, or do work for someone I don't want to work for; I no longer do anything for anyone except my husband, myself, and my home.

Now, I am the chief of home operations and my husband's dedicated support staff; I only make coffee for my husband and I only clean his coffee cups, and he treats me better than clients, coworkers, and customers ever did. Plus, if there is any sexual harassment in the home, we have a license, so it's okay because it goes both ways.

We have lived the two-occupation cohabitation lifestyle since last century and in hindsight it has never been optimal; with both of us coming home carrying the weight of a work day, neither of us wanting to do anything but needing to and only having a few hours to get it all done for the next day, and always waiting for that never-long-enough-two-day weekend to catch up on errands when we would rather not.

We also lived the one-career-household woman-breadwinner lifestyle for a time, which resulted in a mess of home wreckage that could rival any classic country song; but it has made us stronger and wiser for future wear. So, with our new marriage we are learning from our insane past and we're not doing things the same way while expecting different results.

Now, I stay home, and I am not offended that my husband wants me to stay home, because, get this -- I want to stay home. Staying home is so easy compared to going to work; and there is nothing wrong with taking it easier for a while in my forties, having decades of hard work behind me and the collateral damage that comes with it, so say I.

Staying home actually shows me what men really want too, which is something many women are unwilling to do for their husbands and their marriage -- housework. So, thanks to my husband making the income out in the man's world, coupled with my determination to master what I have been taught to resist -- being a good housewife -- I get to stay home with our cats and make home better for all of us, which suits me better than keeping up with a career full of alarm clocks, deadlines, and uncomfortable office attire.

Our cats also treat me better than I've been treated in the working world, which is all the more reason to stay home; and while cats aren't for everyone, the fact of the matter is, neither are careers.

CAREERS ARE LIKE CATS -- THEY'RE NOT FOR EVERYONE

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